When my Mom died, I started considering my own mortality (okay, I had considered it before then but hey, this is my story.) I had long ago decided that I wanted to be cremated, and but I started looking for info about it on the Internet - y'know: who does it, how much it costs, etc. There are all kinds of sites selling lovely (and some not-so-lovely) cremation urns with helpful information like, "Inner capacity: 228 cubic inches".

Uh . . . how do I do the math to figure out how many cubic inches of "cremains" my 350+ pound body will leave? Will my fat melt away like a big ol' Yankee candle or just hang around like the aftermath of a roasted chicken? Who do I ask, and how would I even begin to ask such questions? I mean, I've got a morbid curiousity, but you have to draw the line somewhere!

All I could think was, "Will the ashes of my big ass even FIT in one urn, or will I have to suffer the post-mortum indignity of being sifted into two?!". Well, (whew!) I guess I don't have THAT problem to worry about anymore. One less worry on my plate (pardon the pun.)